A teeny ever after...

With smoky eyes full of secrets so cryptic,
She sang of lands distant and exotic
Light was her step and of skin she was fair,
Her lilt breathed life into the air
For all the brilliance of her beauty,
Strange was the tale of her destiny

A prince he was, with valor and grace,
Haunted by a quest he struggled to chase
He slept with the image of her in his thoughts
It was her visage that by day he sought
Scour as he may, of her there wasn't a trace
Little did he know that against time was his race

Frozen in an enchanted world of dreams
Her only companions were the the hills and the streams
Only in his dreams could she guide him along
And all she had to say could solely be a song
Through each other they will find happiness and peace
But his time will be up at the last light of solstice

The signs in her songs to him were mystic
As the sands of time trickled, his search grew frantic
When the dreams seemed bleak giving him plenty of grief
Hope shimmered again as he stumbled upon a pixie full of mischief
With impish cunning yet a heart so tender
The faerie creature found a trail to this world of splendor

As the sun crept low on the day of solstice
The prince rushed along to keep his promise
As he found his quest just in the nick of time
There she stood in front of him sublime
As the first streaks of grey colored the sky
Hand in hand they bid the li'l pixie good-bye

As final as death

As I lay on the shore, gazing at the setting sun,
I think about the shocking way
My life has taken an abrupt turn.
For the one I lost was the one I loved the most,
The essence of my life,
The one who would never return.
The world around me is back to its full pace,
As if there is nothing amiss,
I ask then why there is in me this inexplicable abyss.
My soul feels ripped from the depths of my core,
Yet, the waves mockingly sing, lashing at the shore.
A smile here, a tiff there,
The memories come rushing back to me,
Beyond this grief, beyond this despair,
I cannot convince my mind to see,
What happens now, what happens next
Is all still a dazed haze to me.
But life cannot freeze; I have to move on,
Carrying with me all the shattered pieces
And bitter-sweet memories along.
A single tear escapes my eye,
As a new spate of grief washes over me in stealth,
I know now that in this gamble of life,
No hand dealt to us…is as final as death.

Lost in Rhetorics

Strange are the charades that people play

Everyone thinks they know what you want to say

So busy are we in reading between the lines

That the actual intention escapes our mind's confines

What's clearly evident, we refuse to see

Searching forever some wild conspiracy

Caught up in the roles that we play

Trying hard to uphold the images we think we portray

Juggling between the many masks we wear

Of the fact that you're losing your true self

You're completely unaware

Every sentence, every gesture 

Even a simple smile

We can't help but scrutinize

For a million hidden wiles

Step by step as the delusion escalates

A lifetime riddled with paranoia culminates

Too easy to slip into this travesty

Be wise and break free at the littlest opportunity

For once you are stuck in this vicious quagmire

There is only one course that will transpire

Unwillingly you become one of those 'fashionable' cynics

Forever you seem to be lost in rhetorics

Sweet Nothings

Oh the sweet tinkle of our chatter...

The silent gestures…the silliest of laughter…

Blessed be…nobody as me…

For I have someone as precious as thee…

I miss you naught...yet somehow I do...

For you’re here in my heart....and not here too...

Oh won’t you put me out of my blight…

And be with me as soon as you might.

A rendezvous with nature

In the wisps of morning twilight when lilac and mauve meet

The little birds come out with their chirpy voices to greet,

Walking by the mountain stream, I hear the rushes sing

The butterflies flutter by as if saying 'Good morning!'

I see realms never seen before and begin to wonder,

What sights of sheer delight would greet me yonder!

Here I am in this prodigious universe, just a speck of a creature,

Carrying what I fancy is my own Rendezvous with Nature.

Life is worth it because...

Strange, but sometimes the tiniest things in life which you don't really pay attention to can surprise you and make the effort really worth it...make you feel content...and reassure you that there's always something to live for in life.. like (bear with me guys... this one's loooong :) )...

• Ma humming without her really knowing it..
• Da's 'head-thrown-back-from-the-gut' laughter..
• Nikky's(my sister) occasional full blown tantrum ( love every bit of it :P)..
• The memory of ammamma's lullaby..
• Godiva's Chocoiste Solid Milk after a crappy day..
• The smell of rain and the anticipation of a scrumptious roasted corn-cob..
• The wind in the face when I'm on my activa..
• My ma's dimples..
• A good book..
• Music that gives you goose-flesh..
• Those li'l pep talks with nikky, kru or swe..
• Waiting for da's call when he's on voyage & listening to his voice at the other end of the phone..
• Gossip about anyone and everyone with kruthi..
• A silence that needs no explanation and yet is understood succinctly..
• Adi's expression when the joke's on him :P..
• Sumanth's glee when the joke's on Adi :P :P..
• Random discussions about the most abstract stuff..
• Catching up with Sruthi or Valli on things..
  
• Cartoons...anime...manga... yeah!!..
• Poetry..
• The 4 o' clock cuppa elaichi chai shared with ma..
• Baking! ..
• The first few flakes of snow...
• Morning walks with da..
• Amazing nightcaps with nishu, sam and dino...
• Endless conversations with Nikky..
• Ben n Jerry's Double Fudge :)..
• Dreams ..
  
• The expression on people's faces when kruthi,swetha and me talk in 'p-language'..
• The tiny bubble of happiness when someone gives you a compliment that they really mean..
• My da's singing which misses every beat and is off every note!! :D..

And many many more...


I'm sure everyone has their own endless list...one peek into your list may sometimes help you sail through those countless worst-day-of-my-life 's. One of the reasons I'm writing 'em down is probably so that it'll be there to remind me that there is always something that makes you go on. There may be days when you see no reason whatsoever in the things that happen but like they say.. 'This too shall pass'..

Wish I actually remember all this "philosophy" when I'm at the prime of one of my famous blue-hazed "Life sucks!" sulks where I'm cribbing to hell and back :P ...

Imagine

In an existence that is so mundane

Each moment with rules is fraught

Fret as you may but all in vain

Until the mystic elixir is sought

All the world's might

When it thrums in your veins

Can refrain but mite

For it knows no reins

Be it a boon or be it a bane

Till the very end only yours to bear

What it can show you is beyond humane

Unleash it only if you truly dare

What is, what was

What isn’t, what can be

From the depths of the mind

To the realms across time

There is naught it hasn’t seen

No where it hasn’t been

Your one refuge for sanity

Or a camouflage for your insanity

Nurture it, treasure it

Be generous with your care

For there is nothing else

That you possess

That is ever so rare

Bane Beloved

I 'suffer' from a hyper active imagination. Yes, I'm deliberately using the term 'suffer' because only I can testify as to the atrocities my imagination has put me through. Some of you may know just exactly what I'm trying to get at here. I think in high resolution pictures and when I wolf down a racy thriller, you can be sure its in HD video (:D). Add to the mix the fact that I dig horror novels and voila! a perfect recipe for paranoia!

Oh its all fine and dandy! when I'm actually reading the book or probably talking about it. Infact, it makes the experience that much more satisfying. Its the aftermath that my feeble heart can't handle.Oh yeah! No point in hiding it but I'm so brave when it comes to the dark and ghosts that I could give 'Courage, the cowardly dog' a serious complex. So, I'm done with the book and the next time I go into a dark room or the lights suddenly go out its disco time in lala land :D. All the gory and vivid images rush upto me at once and it takes counting a whole planet of sheep before I can get my bearings right again.

Its probably not as bad as it sounds but trust me its bad enough. And being the "original contradiction" that I am, I will not stop reading those horror novels or watching those horror movies nor will I stop being scared witless with the ghosts of the dark. Cheers.

Now, if this beloved bane of mine stopped with just manifestations in the dark it would have been easier to handle but naah! I'm also blessed (or should I rather say blasted!) with the funny side of it. Like this one time when my dear friend said "Eeyana acchu walrus la untaadu kada" ('Doesn't he look exactly like a walrus?') about a professor stuck in my head. I go to him next day for signatures on my reco letters and I actually blanked out for a minute when he was asking me something for lo and behold! there was a walrus behind the desk! To my extreme mortification, I had to struggle with all my might to suppress the most silliest of giggles that almost broke out right in his face! Ah! the trials that a poor victim of the 'Incorrigible Imagination Syndrome' has to suffer I tell you!

So long..

Nia

On top of the world..

One of the many things that I miss about home is the sunrise (not that I'm a morning person :P but still) and the moon-rise from our 5th floor balcony. No matter how tensed or irritated you are or even if you've had the biggest row ever or are pissed off with the world in general (which I am very often for no other reason except that I like a good sulk :D), a few moments here during these times can do wonders for your peace of mind.

Some of my fondest memories are all in that little cherished cove that opens out to the sky and the world.I'll always remember sitting around the swing and talking ( be it to my mom, dad or my sister) till 3.00 a.m. in the morning without a care in the world, seeing my first and only falling star, listening to my grandma sing as she sits in the swing that she really loves and just sitting there and taking in the silence of the night.

Now that I'm writing about it, I really know how much I miss it...

This one is one of my very first poems that reminds me of all the things above...

Crystal Dawn

On a beautiful morn

Look up to the skies

Take a deep breath

And enjoy the sight

For one full moment

Forget your plight

Pay no heed

To the worries in life

Just for a moment

Feel that peaceful dawn

And cherish for ever

The pleasure that you have known.

Nia

The Wanderer

In the swish of the womb

And the first ray abloom

From the dawn of life 

With bliss so rife

I know not what I seek

In the myriad unknown faces

That you run into every few paces

In the glimpses of distant places

Through memories that time erases

I know not what I seek

In the midst of the mindless chatter

And the precious moments of laughter

Through times when steps falter

And those when hope plays abetter

I know not what I seek

In the haze of morning mist

And when phantoms of the dark persist

In the tiny dewdrop's tinkle

And the wind's gentle rustle

I know not what I seek

Through the blossoms of cupid's aim

To an endless game of blame

In a full blown blaze of fury

From the faith that in my heart I carry

I know not what I seek

At the zenith of clarity

Or the nadirs of insanity

Through a jigsaw of broken dreams

And countless silent screams

I know not what I seek

In eyes that dance with mirth

And pain that has its worth

Through storms that the soul weathers

And the solace that it slowly gathers

I know not what I seek

When every thought reeks with fear

And I know the end lurks near

After the ultimate surrender

Here, all of six feet under

I know now what I seek

Shadows in the Dark

In the darkness of the night

A shadow beckons

From behind a veil

Don't look

Don't turn

Though it should prick

It would trick and burn

For one look cast

Is one soul lost

Don't risk a glance

Lest it be your last

Look to the light 

Of tender twilight

As the dawn slowly sighs

And spills out blue skies

Wisps of life

You begin to feel

Don't be too sure

That the peril is past

It would nip at your heel

Until you breathe your last..

Clueless.

I dont quite know why I started a blog. I guess my head's just too scrammed with thoughts that need to be put down somewhere so that newer, more insaner thoughts can take their place. So, here goes.....for all those words that keep waltzing in my head with a mind of their own and refuse to stay put until they find their way into a poem...

Ciao,

Nia