Lost in Rhetorics

Strange are the charades that people play

Everyone thinks they know what you want to say

So busy are we in reading between the lines

That the actual intention escapes our mind's confines

What's clearly evident, we refuse to see

Searching forever some wild conspiracy

Caught up in the roles that we play

Trying hard to uphold the images we think we portray

Juggling between the many masks we wear

Of the fact that you're losing your true self

You're completely unaware

Every sentence, every gesture 

Even a simple smile

We can't help but scrutinize

For a million hidden wiles

Step by step as the delusion escalates

A lifetime riddled with paranoia culminates

Too easy to slip into this travesty

Be wise and break free at the littlest opportunity

For once you are stuck in this vicious quagmire

There is only one course that will transpire

Unwillingly you become one of those 'fashionable' cynics

Forever you seem to be lost in rhetorics

Sweet Nothings

Oh the sweet tinkle of our chatter...

The silent gestures…the silliest of laughter…

Blessed be…nobody as me…

For I have someone as precious as thee…

I miss you naught...yet somehow I do...

For you’re here in my heart....and not here too...

Oh won’t you put me out of my blight…

And be with me as soon as you might.

A rendezvous with nature

In the wisps of morning twilight when lilac and mauve meet

The little birds come out with their chirpy voices to greet,

Walking by the mountain stream, I hear the rushes sing

The butterflies flutter by as if saying 'Good morning!'

I see realms never seen before and begin to wonder,

What sights of sheer delight would greet me yonder!

Here I am in this prodigious universe, just a speck of a creature,

Carrying what I fancy is my own Rendezvous with Nature.

Life is worth it because...

Strange, but sometimes the tiniest things in life which you don't really pay attention to can surprise you and make the effort really worth it...make you feel content...and reassure you that there's always something to live for in life.. like (bear with me guys... this one's loooong :) )...

• Ma humming without her really knowing it..
• Da's 'head-thrown-back-from-the-gut' laughter..
• Nikky's(my sister) occasional full blown tantrum ( love every bit of it :P)..
• The memory of ammamma's lullaby..
• Godiva's Chocoiste Solid Milk after a crappy day..
• The smell of rain and the anticipation of a scrumptious roasted corn-cob..
• The wind in the face when I'm on my activa..
• My ma's dimples..
• A good book..
• Music that gives you goose-flesh..
• Those li'l pep talks with nikky, kru or swe..
• Waiting for da's call when he's on voyage & listening to his voice at the other end of the phone..
• Gossip about anyone and everyone with kruthi..
• A silence that needs no explanation and yet is understood succinctly..
• Adi's expression when the joke's on him :P..
• Sumanth's glee when the joke's on Adi :P :P..
• Random discussions about the most abstract stuff..
• Catching up with Sruthi or Valli on things..
  
• Cartoons...anime...manga... yeah!!..
• Poetry..
• The 4 o' clock cuppa elaichi chai shared with ma..
• Baking! ..
• The first few flakes of snow...
• Morning walks with da..
• Amazing nightcaps with nishu, sam and dino...
• Endless conversations with Nikky..
• Ben n Jerry's Double Fudge :)..
• Dreams ..
  
• The expression on people's faces when kruthi,swetha and me talk in 'p-language'..
• The tiny bubble of happiness when someone gives you a compliment that they really mean..
• My da's singing which misses every beat and is off every note!! :D..

And many many more...


I'm sure everyone has their own endless list...one peek into your list may sometimes help you sail through those countless worst-day-of-my-life 's. One of the reasons I'm writing 'em down is probably so that it'll be there to remind me that there is always something that makes you go on. There may be days when you see no reason whatsoever in the things that happen but like they say.. 'This too shall pass'..

Wish I actually remember all this "philosophy" when I'm at the prime of one of my famous blue-hazed "Life sucks!" sulks where I'm cribbing to hell and back :P ...

Imagine

In an existence that is so mundane

Each moment with rules is fraught

Fret as you may but all in vain

Until the mystic elixir is sought

All the world's might

When it thrums in your veins

Can refrain but mite

For it knows no reins

Be it a boon or be it a bane

Till the very end only yours to bear

What it can show you is beyond humane

Unleash it only if you truly dare

What is, what was

What isn’t, what can be

From the depths of the mind

To the realms across time

There is naught it hasn’t seen

No where it hasn’t been

Your one refuge for sanity

Or a camouflage for your insanity

Nurture it, treasure it

Be generous with your care

For there is nothing else

That you possess

That is ever so rare

Bane Beloved

I 'suffer' from a hyper active imagination. Yes, I'm deliberately using the term 'suffer' because only I can testify as to the atrocities my imagination has put me through. Some of you may know just exactly what I'm trying to get at here. I think in high resolution pictures and when I wolf down a racy thriller, you can be sure its in HD video (:D). Add to the mix the fact that I dig horror novels and voila! a perfect recipe for paranoia!

Oh its all fine and dandy! when I'm actually reading the book or probably talking about it. Infact, it makes the experience that much more satisfying. Its the aftermath that my feeble heart can't handle.Oh yeah! No point in hiding it but I'm so brave when it comes to the dark and ghosts that I could give 'Courage, the cowardly dog' a serious complex. So, I'm done with the book and the next time I go into a dark room or the lights suddenly go out its disco time in lala land :D. All the gory and vivid images rush upto me at once and it takes counting a whole planet of sheep before I can get my bearings right again.

Its probably not as bad as it sounds but trust me its bad enough. And being the "original contradiction" that I am, I will not stop reading those horror novels or watching those horror movies nor will I stop being scared witless with the ghosts of the dark. Cheers.

Now, if this beloved bane of mine stopped with just manifestations in the dark it would have been easier to handle but naah! I'm also blessed (or should I rather say blasted!) with the funny side of it. Like this one time when my dear friend said "Eeyana acchu walrus la untaadu kada" ('Doesn't he look exactly like a walrus?') about a professor stuck in my head. I go to him next day for signatures on my reco letters and I actually blanked out for a minute when he was asking me something for lo and behold! there was a walrus behind the desk! To my extreme mortification, I had to struggle with all my might to suppress the most silliest of giggles that almost broke out right in his face! Ah! the trials that a poor victim of the 'Incorrigible Imagination Syndrome' has to suffer I tell you!

So long..

Nia